One of the things I’ve learned so far this year is the meaning of friendship. (as cheesy as that may sound) My circle of friends is really small. and my experiences this year have opened my eyes to what a true friend is. A true friend is some one who no matter what the time of day, will be there with you in the tough times and the good times. Someone who is only there with you in the good times but won’t stick around when you’re in the dumps is not worth your time and effort.

Complaining isn’t going to get you anywhere.  If you find yourself unsatisfied with where you are at in life, moaning and groaning about it won’t change a thing. You yourself need to get off your ass and out into the wild. Rampage around and fuck shit up. Learn how to self motivate.

If after 45345 years, nothing has changed. It never will. Move on.

People just want to be heard.

Before it gets better, it will get worse.

I’ve been in such a funk lately I can’t seem to get myself out of it.

Why do i need to get my act together?

It’s 1:32 in the morning. You are listening to Interpol. You have a test tomorrow on material you never went over because you were to lazy to read because it’s been really hard focusing. 

stop that. stop making excuses for yourself!

You have no idea what you want to do. or where you are at academically speaking.
You’ve been spending countless hours doing completely pointless crap.
It’s been about 2 months since you’ve last finished an entire book.
You are out of money.
You are out of social skills
You are unorganized.
Rise up and fix this. 

Study for that test this wednesday.
Go to the library and read for EFH’s midterm. 
Read more.
Walk more.
Sing more.
Write more. 

Things I didn’t do this spring break

1. Go to the beach
2. Go to a show
3. Homework
4. Sun Bathe
5. Finish a book
6. Run
7. I HAVE NOT EATEN A BURGER.
8. gotten a job
9. go out
10. breathe
11. think
12. write

Things I did do

1. Went to see Conan (Monday) with Sarah & Isaiah.
2. Obsess over X-Files on Netflix.
3. and Twin peaks
4. Practice Driving
5. Almost crashed
6. Bought myself clothes.
7. Got a bob (Wed)
8. Carried neighbors 4 or is it 2 month old baby girl
9. Filled out applications
10. woke up early (8:30)
11. walked around the rose bowl
12. freak out when a bug flew into my right eye.
13. Had some tacos
14. Covered a song with Denise.
15. Read Sherlock Holmes 
16. drank copious amounts of coffee.(and spent copious amounts)

Barnes and Noble called me back earlier today!

I am to show up at 11 am dressed up.

I was told it’ll be a group interview. How do those go?

pointers please?

My dad came back last Saturday. It’s been really difficult. 
 I’m not sure what to do or what to say. A lot of unresolved issues have been dug up from the past at home. It’s really hard for me to focus on my class(es) because I’m so distracted with what’s going on at home, and as a result I’m doing poorly on exams. and if I do poorly on exams I’ll fail the course, if I fail the course that’s money and time gone to waste. I’ll get another late registration date and won’t get classes next semester.If I don’t get classes next semester I’ll never transfer anywhere. If I never transfer I’ll be stuck at PCC for the rest of my life, jobless and living with my mother. I haven’t been sleeping well and I keep getting head aches. My best friend lives forever away. so I only see her like once a week. I’ve kinda been playing the counselor of the family a little bit. being a shoulder, an outlet. which I am fine with I suppose I just need an outlet of my own. I need a break. If I could drive I’d go to the beach. some place far away. I just want it to feel like spring. I mean, It smells like spring, looks like spring, even sounds like spring. But it feels like nothing like it.

I’m tired. I just want a break.